You’ll all be happy to know that I’ve discovered a way to not be sad anymore. Allow me to expand on my newfound wisdom…

At some point last week I sold Eric’s Jetta, upon doing so I noticed a key on his keyring that I didn’t recognize. And then it hit me. He had a secret family and this was the key to THEIR house! It was so obvious! I no longer had to be sad….I could be mad instead! And not just at Eric, but at his secret second wife! Where was my sister-wife while I was taking care of him, trekking back and forth to Ann Arbor, adding ice to every.single.thing he drank! She was so lazy! Ugh! Righteous rage.

Okay, so clearly that’s not true and it ended up, logically, being a key to his office, but it was worth a shot. And it was a brutal reminder that I can’t just easily ask him a question. And that stabs the heart just like you would imagine. I was so upset by this stupid key…why didn’t I ask him about it before? What else should I have asked him that I didn’t have time to? What’s Arie going to ask one day that I forgot? Everything happened so fast at the end, and there was so much that we didn’t get a chance to talk about, and it’s just the worst. The absolute worst.

On an unrelated topic to the key – today would have been Eric’s 30th birthday. Eric relished in the fact that I was 5 months older than him. He mentioned it constantly, but especially around our birthdays. Today I am choosing to find humor in the fact that he passed away before he caught up to my 30 year label. How rude.