Today is Reuben’s due date. Instead of the excitement we had all anticipated, today has now become a time for us to reflect on the sweet boy who changed our lives for the better. Below is the eulogy I was privileged to give at his funeral. Divine providence is something I’ve been saying since high… Continue reading My Little Rue

Growing up it was always my sister, Hilary, that was obsessed with dogs. She was relentless in her request for a puppy, regardless of holiday. All her stuffed animals were various breeds of dogs, and if my mom would have let her, her wallpaper would have been Dalmatian spots. I didn’t have anything against them,… Continue reading Not A Dog Person

Our friend, Jen, is a labor and delivery nurse at Spectrum, and when I was pregnant she also happened to be working on her doula certification. We asked her to be a part of Arie’s birth, and it turned out to be more important then we could have imagined. This is Arie’s birth story from her perspective.… Continue reading Arie’s Birth Story, by Jen

When I was growing up, I went through a big Christian romance novel phase. (Why does that embarrass me to admit!?) I specifically remember one of these books had a character who went to church on Easter and cried during the service. Now this was probably 15-20 years ago, so give me a little grace… Continue reading Easter

One night during Eric’s treatment days we were driving home and Eric ran what I will gracefully consider a ‘dark orange’ light (but we all know I’m not that nice and I mean a red light, right? Great.). Wouldn’t you know it, red and blue flashers showed up in the rear view mirror almost instantly.… Continue reading Making My Silver Lining

Me: Look Arie it’s a picture of you and daddy! I wish he lived with us instead of in Heaven. Arie: It’s okay, he will come back another day. Me: I think he’ll stay in Heaven and we will just go live with him someday. Arie: Or we can go visit him in the grass.… Continue reading Christmas

When Eric first got sick I found the quote “your battle is my battle”, and I thought it completely embodied everything I wanted to be as a caretaker and wife. But it turns out it was a sentiment shared by more than just myself.  You know how people use the phrase “like-minded” people? Well I… Continue reading Your Battle Is My Battle

Yesterday would have been Eric and my 8 year anniversary. That sounds like such a long time! Technically it will be our 3rd anniversary since he died, but we were so close to our 6th that I still think of it as my 2nd without him. Does that make sense? Honestly, I felt pretty good… Continue reading 8 Years

It’s 2am on June 13. Today would have marked one of my favorite days of the year – today is the day, after 5 months of waiting, that Eric would have finally become the same age as me again.  And yet, here I am, forever doomed to appear a year older than him because he… Continue reading Dear Eric, Happy Birthday

I wish I could say that it’s just May 23rd that sucks, but honestly it’s the whole month. As soon as May 1 rolls around, all I can think about is all of Eric and my “lasts”. I see memories come up on Facebook or Timehop and I think things like – that’s the last… Continue reading Year 2