Comparison is the thief of compassion. I googled that sentence, and I’m pretty sure no one famous has said it yet…but I didn’t scroll too far, just incase. Trademark!

For realz though. (WordPress keeps trying to change that to ‘reals’ – stupid computer, get on my level!) It seems like we’re always trying to compare pain and suffering, instead of being compassionate to those who are hurting. Pitting heartache and hardships against each other to qualify which is worse. Why do we do that? Sorry man, I know your wife just left you, but my husbands dying. It’s not right. Pain is pain, in my opinion. That squeeze of your heart, or the drop in your stomach…you know what I’m talking about. It all hurts, and you just can’t make a hierarchy, or at least not much of one.

I joined a young widows Facebook group…oh yeah, those exist…and for as many helpful posts as there are, there seem to be a few (too many) of women complaining about other people being sad about something she deems lesser. I’m not one to stir the pot on a Facebook post, so I keep my comments to myself, but it makes me…mad, disappointed, annoyed? I don’t know…some negative emotion.

But I’m guilty of it too! Not in the same way, or to the same extent as some of those previously mentioned ladies, but guilty none the less. I remember sitting down with someone who is traveling a similar road. We talked a bit about our kids and then the conversation turned to ‘which is worse’. Her kids are older, and obviously, Arie is a baby. So is it worse for the kid to not know their father at all, but then not have to deal with the pain of losing him, OR is it worse for the kid to have to go through that grief, but have happy memories together? It wasn’t a ‘my pain trumps your pain’ situation, but still seems odd to discuss when both just completely suck.

I feel like this post is coming across as kind of preachy and that’s not my intention. It just seems like there’s a lot of bad stuff happening to people in my life right now, and it all makes me sad. Hence, my ramblings on the subject.

I’ll end on a lighter note…a tale of an unfortunate question. I met some friends for drinks, and there was a guy there who didn’t know me, and therefore didn’t know about the recent events in my life. At one point we were talking about insurance (I know, I know…exciting stuff) and I said I had to go back on my company insurance. To make a long story short, he asked why I couldn’t stay on my husbands plan…poor guy never saw it coming. I thought about making something up, but then the little drink in my head thought maybe it would be funny to tell the truth and watch the aftermath. I know, I’m a horrible person. But something tragic happened in my life, and I’m sure it was worse than whatever happened in your life, (see what I did there? I brought it back around full circle. That’s some high quality work right there.) so don’t judge! Or at least not too harshly, if you can mange.  🙂