Today is Reuben’s due date. Instead of the excitement we had all anticipated, today has now become a time for us to reflect on the sweet boy who changed our lives for the better. Below is the eulogy I was privileged to give at his funeral.

Divine providence is something I’ve been saying since high school. I’m not sure if you knew that Hil. But it really gained traction within our family when Eric got it tattooed on his arm. He wanted a reminder of God’s sovereignty over all things, including the outcome of his illness. After he died, Hilary got a matching tattoo – much to my parents’ horror. And now it seems we need that reminder again. It’s hard to fathom that Rue’s death could ever be part of a greater plan, but our faith in God’s love for Reuben, and that divine providence, allows us to grieve with such a beautiful and comforting hope. So who’s getting the tattoo next?

Already, so many people have been touched by our sweet boy’s life. They have seen how Hilary and Chase have honored his life, made memories with him, found joy in the sorrow, trusted their Heavenly Father, and made the absolute most out of their time with him. A heartbreaking, impossible, unimaginable situation that was handled with grace, courage, faith, and strength. And of course, just a touch of dark humor.

Reuben never knew anything but happiness, comfort, contentment, and love. His life was truly a glimpse of Heaven on Earth. And he was welcomed into eternity by the love of so many family members, and the incomprehensible adoration of his Heavenly Father.

God has weaved His story into so many parts of Rue’s life, but the most meaningful to me is the relationship between Hilary and Arie, and Eric and Reuben. Eric had 8 months with Arie, before Hilary had to step in as a surrogate parent. And Hilary had 8 months with Reuben before she passed that same shared responsibility over to Eric. On top of that, Eric and Reuben now share a birthday and a death anthem.* Honestly, when people talk about their families being close, they don’t have anything on us.

I really only ever got to see Eric as an uncle, since he was pretty sick for a lot of Arie’s life, and wow was he a natural. Full of energy, excitement, adoration, pride, and unconditional love. And of course, the occasional bit of bad behavior, and teaching them things he shouldn’t. To think that Heaven might have only made those attributes better is, frankly, intimidating. He’s going to crush his Uncle life with Rue, because they have the best of each other to enjoy while they wait for us to join them. Reuben couldn’t be in better hands. Especially since I feel like Heaven would eliminate those things Eric shouldn’t be teaching…

I was so honored to be able to be a part of Reuben’s birth – so thank you Chase for having an aversion to bodily fluids. I thought Hil and I were close before, but labor puts us at a whole other level. Truly though, it was incredible. My friend asked me to describe the experience in five words. I chose: exhausting, bittersweet, memorable, tragically-beautiful and supportive. Yes, I realize that is technically six words, but I used a hyphen. I didn’t know what to expect from my emotions during delivery. I’m very single minded when it comes to medical care, so emotions don’t usually get the best of me in those situations, but the image of Hilary and Chase seeing and holding Reuben for the first time cracked even my heart of ice. That is probably why that is my favorite picture from Rachel – because that moment meant the most to me. It will never leave me, until the day I can talk to Rue about it in person.

Before Hilary started pushing, we prayed that God would give her strength from the Holy Spirit to do the unimaginable. I can say with confidence that while not all our prayers have been answered in the affirmative, that one was. And not only for her, but for all of us. We were all given the strength and ability to fully love Reuben, while also knowing we would have to say goodbye. The hardest part for me, and I would imagine all of us, was leaving. It broke me to a place in my heart that I’ve only had to experience once before. I truly didn’t know how I was going to be able to leave, and I’m just an aunt! It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. So the fact that Hilary and Chase were able to leave at all, let alone relatively calmly, is the embodiment of the phrase “a peace that passes understanding”.

I’m so proud of you both. You’ve handled an impossible situation so admirably. You and Reuben have changed people’s lives for the better. You have turned your lament into a love song.

We grieve, but not without hope. For in Christ alone our hope is found, and so it is well with our soul.**

* We played Spirit in the Sky on repeat during Hilary’s labor.
** That is the phrase I put on Eric’s tombstone.